


Equality Rainbow Sliders

by grrriliketigers



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon), Get Smart - All Media Types, Golden Girls, House M.D., Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 19:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4317693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stacy cleverly devises a plan to see Sharon again by slipping her phone into her purse. (Crack!fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Equality Rainbow Sliders

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack!fic. I am aware at exactly how cracky this is lol. It's written for Crossed Situations challenge at TV_Universe on Livejournal. The situations that are relevant to this fic are:  
> \+ 99 asks Stacy to go to a friend's wedding.  
> \+ Sharon, Linda, and Rose exchange promise rings.  
> \+ Sharon finds Stacy's cellphone in their purse.  
> Also, don't get too hung up on how the geography of all this works. It'll really just make your head hurt.

"Did you find the champagne?" 99 asked as Stacy approached. 

"I got the last two. They're switching to prosecco now." Stacy explained, holding the two flutes. 

"Good afternoon, Congresswoman." Sharon greeted the older woman. 

"Captain Raydor, it's good to see you again. Please call me 99, all my friends do." 

Sharon smiled. "Please call me Sharon." 

"Sharon, this is my friend Stacy Warner. Stacy, Sharon participated in the women in law enforcement summit that I hosted." 

"Are you with the police?" Stacy asked. 

"I am. Los Angeles." 

"You've got your work cut out for you." Stacy smiled. Stacy wanted to swoon when Sharon chuckled in response. She brushed hair away from her neck and Stacy felt like putty in her hands. 

Sharon was wearing a plum colored dress that hugged her curves, making it unbelievably sexy despite it's modest cut. 

"Would you like a glass of champagne?" Stacy offered, holding out one of the glasses. 

"Oh, yes, thank you." Sharon accepted the flute and sipped. 

"I'll make it up to you." Stacy whispered to 99. 

"Don't worry about it." 99 replied knowingly, giving her an encouraging wink. 

**

"Do you remember the woman I was telling you about the other day? The lawyer?" Sharon asked, picking at the few remaining french fries on her plate. 

"The one you met at the wedding?" Rose asked. 

"Yes. Stacy." Sharon nodded, "I found her phone in my purse and I called the home number and she said she had a work cell phone so it wasn't urgent to get it back and we should wait until we can get together." 

"She's asking you out!" Linda gushed enthusiastically. 

"No, she isn't... Is she?" Sharon blushed a little. 

"Do you want it to be a date?" Rose asked. 

"What if I'm reading the situation all wrong?" Sharon lamented. 

"Hey, if you need any advice about women, just ask." Bob said from the grill. "I was kind of a ladies man back in the day." 

"Butt out, Bobby, we're having girl talk out here." Linda called and leaned in and whispered to Sharon and Rose, "he had a clip on earring and tried to pick me up with 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?'" 

Rose and Sharon laughed. 

"It worked, didn't it?" Bob continued. "You should bring your friend here, I'll make a burger of the day just for you: sliders with rainbow slaw perfect for _Sharon_ with a special someone." 

"Oh, dad. Dad, no." Louise groaned from a booth. 

"Louise, get back to work." Bob groused. 

"You should take her to the revolving pie restaurant." Tina chimed in. "Spin your way into her heart." 

"Or vomit all over her heart." Louise rolled her eyes. 

"I just got an idea for a song!" Gene called out, pressing the laser button on his keyboard. "Tina! Eat something out of the trash so I can sample your vomit sounds." 

"On it." Tina slid down off the stool. 

"Tina, don't." Bob deadpanned. 

"Just eat one of dad's 'Curd-fect Strangers' burgers." Louise scoffed. 

"Louise." Bob warned. 

Sharon smiled affectionately at the kids and her friends. 

"You could have her over to your place and cook for her." Rose said, bringing the conversation back to Sharon's predicament. "I could give you my recipe for Spearheaven Krispies." 

"Now _that_ would induce vomiting." Linda laughed. 

"Not if you hold your nose while you eat them!" Rose insisted. 

"I think cooking for someone on a first date is a little forward." Sharon admitted. 

"'Equality Rainbow Sliders.'" Bob sing-songed encouragingly. 

"If I brought her here every single one of you would embarrass me to death. You wouldn't be able to help yourselves." Sharon teased. 

"How does this sound?" Gene said starting to play the keyboard. " _Vomit your way into my heart... at the revolving restaurant..._ The finished version will have vomit sounds and a 12-piece orchestra." 

"Not one of your best." Louise shook her head. "Needs more imagery." 

"Like little pieces of corn!" Tina added. 

Sharon pointed at Gene with a laugh. "Case in point."


End file.
